Developing your "Sense of Self" Continued... ~ Roses and Rain Boots .

Monday, June 6, 2016

Developing your "Sense of Self" Continued...

Happy Monday! I hadn't originally planned on sharing this information but after getting some AWESOME feedback from YOU (my readers) I realized you actually did want more! And as a result,  I am unleashing my 3 BIGGEST struggles I have faced on my way to becoming the adult I am today and developing my "sense of self"... we are getting deep today lovely!
1. Learning to let things go:
Believe it or not, I frequently worry or over analyze about things I say, or didn't say. Finding my sense of self has helped me to realize that I can't go  back in time and change the situation I am left with two choices: I can either address the situation that has left me bothered or upset, or I can move on. I don't have a set guideline for how I choose what approach to take. In the beginning, I typically took the extra second to clarify the situation. And then I found that 99% of the time the person didn't even recall the situation. Those prior experiences have helped me gain more confidence and assurance to let things go and move on! This has been one of my biggest gains in developing my "sense of self."

2. Not everyone is going to like you:
This has to be the single most challenging thing for me. I wouldn't say I am a people pleaser. I definitely do not base my decisions off of trying to make everyone happy; however, I aim to be a whole heartily good person and for some reason I base this off of people's opinions of me. I want everyone to like me! And like my boyfriend said the other day not everyone is going too. At first I was appalled at the idea of this! How could he say that, then as were talking more,  I realized it wasn't a reflection of me or them, but rather a fact. Face it, that's why people believe in "soul mates" there are people in this world that completely get you and they don't just like you, they LOVE you. Then there are people who don't get you, or you don't have things in common with and it doesn't mean that they don't not like you (whoa double negative there) it simply means that they aren't one of your soul mates.

3. Say "YES" & Smile More:
I love reading, we all know this. But recently my grandfather encouraged me to broaden me reading horizons (I read a lot of fiction, especially romance novels) and urged me to read some more nonfiction. Now, while he had autobiographies and the history of the roman empire in mind (no seriously, I have a text book size book on my bookshelf that he lent me) I found some daily devotional that have truly helped me solidify the sense of self I was building. While reading these devotionals they encouraged the reader to say "yes" to things more. And in turn they also teach to stay true to your word. This means not canceling plans. Not canceling plans or "bailing" as many of us call it, has helped me to strengthen my friendships and build a stronger sense of trust and faith between us. And for that I am grateful. Lastly, it's a known fact that smiling improves your mood. Just the other day, I went tubing with some friends and afterward my ride, one of my friends said while we were out on the boat tubing that I had a permit smile plastered on my face. 

One thing for sure is I am definitely not an expert and therefore, am constantly still developing my "sense of self". I think this will forever be something I reflect on. Self-reflection is the single most important thing I have been able to do when it comes to making change for myself. But, that's all for today, thank you SO much for reading my post. I know it's not like my usual posts, but I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

I would love to hear YOUR feedback on today's post & what you would like to read more of. 

Looking to be inspired check out what's on my current playlist:

Looking for a good read: The Selection (MRS. E- you would LOVE this!!) This book is amazing, I couldn't put it down. It's a combination of The Bachelor meets, Hunger Games, meets Atonement
Enjoy your day & remember to say "YES" 
xx, Lauren



  1. You are simply authentic! I absolutely love today's post! you've touched more people than you realize by sharing your blog and experience

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  3. Love this post Lauren! Letting go of the pursuit of approval from everyone is so freeing and so is refusing to over analyze. These two victories are life changing. I hope to see more posts like this from you. You have some serious wisdom to share with all of us lady.

  4. Love this post, especially point #3. If I make plans with friends I stick with them! I want my friends to know I'm a person of my word and that I respect them! When people bail on me it's a terrible feeling and I'd never want anyone else to feel that way

  5. lo--HEY chickadee!! finally stopping by to check out your post, GREAT btw. the sense of self. ah, forever a work in progress, but you know what, there is so much beauty in that. all points are spot on, and kind of hard to do. for a while i struggled with #2, i mean of course we all want everyone to like us, (bc uh, why wouldn't they?!?! haha) but the truth is that it's impossible. we're all different in our own unique ways and not everyone is going to jive with us. i've learned this esp in the blogging world. thanks for sharing this genuine post babe. hope you have a good rest of the week. xoxo,

    janna |

  6. Great post Lauren. All we can do is be ourselves and people will accept it or they won't. We can't control what others think of us so we just have to live each day and hope we don't offend anyone. Hehe. Keep smiling girl. Xoxo

  7. I agree with all of these, especially the first two. Let go of things and learn not to care if people like you or not.

  8. When I was a teenager I had issues with the people not liking me thing too. Sometime between then and now, I decided I didn't care one way or the other! LOL! Just live and be happy :)

    xoxo, Sam |

  9. These are so great. I at the age of 37 still work on all of these things. I overthink things too and in the end I just accept that I am me and some things I can try harder at but no one is perfect and I won't be sorry for being me. It's so important not to sweat the small stuff! Everyone wants to be liked but I do find that as I have gotten older I have ended up gravitating to like minded people more so than in my twenties and these friendships and bonds mean so much more.

  10. These are all such great lessons! Happy Thursday, lovely :)

    xoxo, Jenny